This morning when I got the strawberries out of the fridge, I noticed that the package said they were “limited edition”. I hate to disagree with packaging, but how can strawberries be limited editions? Does this mean I should expect strawberries to disappear from the grocery store shelves soon? The earth made them for a few millennia, but it will be discontinuing them?
Or did the package mean that those particular strawberries won’t be around long? Eat them now before they mold. If so, doesn’t that go without saying?
It made me think about all the other inaccurate packaging that products use. For example:
Good and Plenty
Good yes, but only plenty if you have no children. If you have children, they will descend on you as soon as they hear the sound of the box opening and you will end up with only three pieces of candy. Perhaps they should have gone with Good and Adequate If You Don’t Have a Sweet Tooth.
Who came up with this product name and why? I’m guessing it’s probably because we all wish our life was like Lucky Charms—full of rainbow marshmallows that are magically delicious—but instead life is actually more like crumbly little squares that aren’t nearly as sweet as we’d like. It's life, baby, get used to it.
Unfortunately, these kisses are a little too waxy tasting. It makes me wonder who Hershey was kissing. If someone is going to be kissing my lips, I want it to be Lindt. Almond Roca would be acceptable too.
These have yet to make me thin, although I keep trying. (You can see this blog has swerved into thoughts on chocolate and will probably not leave. Chocolate. Mmmm.)
I love the candy bar but it makes you wonder what other names were tossed out in the marketing meeting before they decided on this one: Scorns? Scoffs? Disdainful Deriding? General Mockery?
What is this candy bar really trying to say, and does it have anything to do with what people think of your rear end after you eat too many?
Okay, this packaging has it right. I’m pretty sure this is what joy actually tastes like.
Suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to eat chocolate. But anyway, this is just one more example of how writers are clearly needed in the world.
Write on, folks.