New Year's Resolutions, revised

Every year I make New Year's resolutions, and every year I break them. In fact, my usual tradition with my New Year's resolutions seems to be that around June I get them out and laugh at my naive optimism. So this year, I'm taking my resolutions and doing what writers do best--revising them

Picture by 22dragon22burn

 1) Exercise more. Hide the treats better. Maybe I'll forget where I put them.

 2) Stick to a budget. Resist buying more Christmas cards and wrapping paper, even if they are 75% off right now.

 3) Have a family dinner every night. Cook something once in awhile that requires more work than slitting open the top of the package and programming the microwave.

 4) Declutter the house. Put a moratorium on the stray cats my children keep collecting. Ditto for those pesky stuffed animals that appear like furry big-eyed mushrooms in every room of the house.

 5) Make myself presentable every day, even when I have a deadline. Try to convince people my pajamas are actually medical scrubs and I'm just back from a 36 hour shift.

 6) Read the classics. Watch Doctor Who while I fold laundry.

 7) Learn a new skill. Learn how to work the TV remote. (See resolution 6)

 8) Become best-selling author. Stop writing 400 page novels.

 Okay, that last one isn't particularly funny, it just seems to be something I need to keep reminding myself. Because even though on the outset of the last four books I've written, I specifically told myself my book wasn't going to go over 300 pages, I keep writing these mammoth stories that take way too long to write and revise.